th3 kiir0i n3k0

engagement

2009-09-20T18:36:00.002+08:00

friends around me

either gettin engage or married

while me

i hav to wait

n wif d situation ryt now

im not sure

if we wud b able to hav any

but i will pray to ALLAH for the best

i hope HE give me d best

i wana be wif my luv ones till d end of life

i dowan to get married to sumone

but end up still rmbrin dat special one

who can neva b forgotten

i luv eu baby

very much

i wud do anytink

to gain eur luv back..

hates for guy rider

2009-09-05T09:52:00.001+08:00

eu appear and disappear

wat do eu tynk i fyl

hmm

freak off la

stop disturbing my lyf anymore

eu hurt me enuf

juz rmbr me in eur memory

tanx once again

for everything euv done to me

everything is gonna be ok now

when i be a lady rider

im gonna freakin kick eur ass off d road

d question is

ARE EU HUNGRY

coz eu will juz hav to eat my smoke

2009-09-02T22:31:00.000+08:00

hapie bdae to me

2009-08-25T22:57:00.000+08:00

yesterday was my 19th bdae
baby asked me out
was actually a little upset
coz i waited whole nyt for baby's bdae wish
he eventually forgotten abt my bdae
HOW CAN HE FORGET!!
but yeah
he make it up
got me a one piece suit
hehe
luv it alot
went to ion orchard
its huge
got us dunkin donuts
den were off to orchard central
met ping fang there
den we went to sakura for dinner
was my 1st tym there
d food
ok ok la
not bad
ate so much till im burst
look lyk a pregnant lady wif my round tummy
haha
den we were off to marina square
chill arnd there
tanx baby for everything
kinda mish him
hehe
ayu came down to my place juz now
we were chillin arnd
haha
planin to go library one of diz days
n os go bazaar wif ayu
told her abt my plans to tioman
so yeah...gotta go now
tanx ppl for makin it hpn..

sum gud things in lyf

2009-08-23T00:30:00.008+08:00

first of all

to my one n only

BABY BOY

Md Dzul Fadli

from non other

eur baby gurl

Norfazila

HAPIE

7TH MONTH

ANNIVERSERY

Love eu

and only eu

dun eu ever leave me again

AND FOR TODAYS BLOG

a surprise bdae bash from kimarie staff

tanx yiting,shasha,yonglong,lionel and songwei

for makin it happen

some pictures to show

cry you a river

2009-08-20T09:04:00.002+08:00

1st thing 1st

juz wanna thank my peeps for d advance bdae crush,especially ida

sanggop pe 2ron uma aku pkl 2 pagi stakat nak anta present?

but bear pon bear la at least dier yellow

bkn sala kau tk tau aku tk suke bear

i put it one corner

qid n all,i gt nice slp n didnt cry for d nyt coz im aslp

haha

paisey la

BTW,SHOWIE AKU PULAU KRG FOR SO LONG

BUT EU GUYS NEVA FORGET ME

but ppl,juz wonderin..knape tk bley crush on 23?

funny uh krg

ok dis is todays update

i reali dowan a bdae crush

seriously

so ppl plz dun do any crushes for me

im so not in d mood

im not at all hapie for d crush

i mean for qid,eu shud noe y

ystrdy afta so long

i got my gud nyt slp

till 2am

dats wen ida asked me to cum dwn

haha

but went back to slp

make me high siak

slpin pills rox

haha

i luv eu slpin pills

eu make me slp

i tot it wud b anotha rotten bdae diz year

but no

ITS WORST DEN ROTTEN

i duno any word dat can describe it

cry me a river for havin such a rotten year

y is dis world juz so cruel

im tired of dis game

its makin me fyl so upset

hurt me alot

but wat do ppl noe abt bein hurt until they fyl it

KARMA

it will always goes around

hurt me

you will b hurt back

twice or triple d pain

for right now..let me cry myself a river..

forgive me

2009-08-19T09:32:00.000+08:00

ive said im showie..
y cant eu 4giv me??
im reali tired now
all i wan is a gd nyt slp
but i aint gettin any
my eyes r swollen n heavy
damn it!! juz giv me sum slp
y punish me dis way??!!

2009-08-18T09:24:00.000+08:00

THANK YOU FOR ALL THE SWEET MEMORIES PEOPLE
HOPE TO SEE YOU AGAIN
REMEMBER
JUST SMILE

i fuck big tym

2009-08-18T08:47:00.000+08:00

funny,wen things juz hpn d opposite of wat eu wan..
lyk eu wana throw a ball up high n not cum dwn
but gravity owys pulls back
sumtymz i juz dun undrstnd
y life hav to turn out dis way
im planning to go to dctr today
if i hav tym
i havent been slpin well nowadays..
all i do is slp 2 or 3 hrs wake up
cry for n hr den fall aslp for anotha 2hrs
den wake up again n cry n fall bck to slp
owys go to werk wif swollen eyes nowadays
tot of havin dem to prescribe me slpin pills
it wud b much betta
in abt 5 days it wud b our 7 mth annie
dis tym for sure it wud b full of hatred
in abt 6 days it wud b my bdae
hmm
i juz wish of skippin it
might juz go to work on dat day
if not,den i might b goin for circuit revision
den for prac 6 again
if it ends in d eve
if i hav no plan
i might juz go hm
n slp
if there is slpin pills is much more betta
i can pop afew n hibernate lyk a bear
there is no bdae wishes for me
coz it aint cumin true
god is neva by my side wen i ask for things lyk diz
i reali hav given up hope in life
d otha day wen i was awake one nyt
i was sittin n askin myself
y sum ppl juz cnt acpt me for who i m
y ppl cnt c my effort
im sick n tired of tryin
sum day i will juz hav to end my lyf
its painful to leave d ppl dat is so important in my lyf
but it will lessen my pain by leavin
i wonder
y god let me live to suffer?
iz there sumtynk wrg i did in my past lyf?
i owys giv up easily
dats y i dun lyk dis world
its full of challenges n i cant defeat ppl
sumtymz on d days wen i wan ppl to listen to my probs
i juz get critics
but wen it cums to dem,they expct me to listen
i got no one else in lyf
even d person dearest to me is disappearing
n i dunnoe how to hold on anymore
my hopes n dreams r all destroyed
y cant ppl juz for 1 day
listen to me
juz let me talk
wifout any critics
no one trust me
neither do i trust anyone or even myself
its hard in lyf
i fucked dis rs big tym
but i hav no regrets
things happens n i cant stop it
ppl r not meant to b wif me
im juz useless
i reali hav given up hope
coz wats d point of hopin wen nutin happen
eu dun c my effort
im givin up lyf right dis moment
it is so painful gettin hurt
eu noe,it makes me cry evry single day wifout fail
but do eu noe?
to ppl i luv
i will owys luv eu even at the shortest tym ive spent wif eu in dis lyf
i will neva for get all d memories we hav spent
may we see ech otha in anotha world
gud bye luv ones
i givin a last hope
dat dis is not d end.....

can i kill eu??n juz lyk kol it a day??

2009-08-17T17:05:00.000+08:00

eu said
im unsensible
unreasonable
immature
childish
annoyin
paranoid
irritatin
n im d one who make eu change
well eur fren is still eur fren ryt
hmm
eu wan me to change
tell eu sumtynk
eur selfish
i do everything for eu
i even ditch Eidil
juz bcoz eu dun lyk him
wen he didnt even see eu for so long
wen eu say NO eu expect me not to do
but did eu ever not do wen i say NO?
eur pointin fingers at me
sayin im wrong this and that
but hav eu ever
TAKE A LOOK IN THE MIRROR
n see if there is any wrong
that eu can correct eurself
so i wun b 1 hell of a fucked up gf?
eu wan all the best for eurself
dun eu tynk i wan too??
evreything abt us is abt eu
so y not for once,juz do sumtynk dat please me
ever since fathullah came back
all eu do is stick wif him lyk glue
wat abt me
md dzulfadli
tynk ok
im sick n tired
all i wish is juz kill eu n kol it a day whenever eu hurt me
my bdae is cumin up
n yeah i will grow up
its only eur blinded by all eur hatred wif girls dat eu cnt c me doin everything for eu
im not askin eu to dig eur penny out for present or cakes or even a meal at sakura
all i wan is justice
wateva i dun lyk dun do
it will make a diff..

day wif baby

2009-08-10T23:30:00.000+08:00

ystrdy baby n me went to d beach
tawn there coz so long neva go to the beach 2gtha
my family was at bedok jetty
we were at ecp
abg bought me otak otak
yummylicious
el came ova at arnd midnight
they were talkin non stop
well eventually i spoke out to baby
told him i dun lyk his fren,FATHULLAH
i noe he is not hapie abt dat
well its d fact
dat fren of his is takin my baby away
well HELLO
my baby which is eur damn fren
got a gf to care abt too
i dun care if eu missed him or wat
at least use eur freakin brain n think
if eu dun hav a gf
den go get 1 n stop usin my bf as eur gay partner to hang arnd
ever since dat FATHULLAH came back frm thailand
baby seldom myt me
kept spendin his tym wif dis idiot
we alwys fight
last tym wen he neva go to skool
at least he use dat tym to myt me
now dat tym is used to myt dat idiot instead
wait a minute!!!wat m i to him??
fuck!!
now i hate him,no longer dislike him
baby was havin his conversation wif el ystrdy
abt their up cumin trip to thailand
well if not for his fuckin fren
i tynk i wud still go kl wif baby n the rest
fuck ryt
n eu noe wat
he plan to brin d guys to pangkeng at thailand
fuck im eur freakin gf
eu didnt tell me abt it
but eu told el
n right infront of me
i was almost in tears ystrdy
but i juz grip hold of wateva left in me
now i HATE THA FUCKIN FATHULLAH
baby shud be thankful enuff dat i still let him b frenz
i dun hav d heart to let him off to thailand now
bcoz of dat asshole
i dun even noe if baby might b stupid enuff
to follow this asshole arnd
neva noe this asshole bring him to pangkeng
n fuck i juz cnt take it anymore
i wan to kill this FATHULLAH
i hate him
I HATE FATHULLAH
hope he got a rotten life!
well as i was tellin
we were at the beach
el was playin wif his bartender bottles doin stunts
i fell aslp at arnd 2 while sucin baby's finger
hehe
i was awake by the kisses baby planted on me every now n den
wen i was aslp
n i hear him talkin to me
but i fyl so far away to rpl
at arnd 4 baby slpt as el went hm
i was awaken by the pitter patter sound
it took me a minute to realise it was rainin
haha
baby n me was all wet wen we dismantle d tent
im so afraid dat he might catch a cold
he is so prone to sickness as he gt asthma
i dowan him sick
we took turns goin to the toilet
n kip suggestin stupid plans to ech otha
wen the rain finally slow dwn
we walk to mcdonalds n change
den walk to burger king n got us breakfast
we took cab bak to baby's cribs
hehe
wen we reach
we unload our tent n belongings frm d back
n eu noe
dat fuckin cabby drove away wen we were half done
idiot
i was panic as my stuff were in it
we chase afta d taxi
haha
luckily he stop
haha
so funny
we were laughin all the way hm
ate breakfast n watch the japan show
den fell aslp nxt to baby
hehe
woke up at 12
took a shower
by then his family juz woke up
stay arnd abit more den left arnd 1.45
went back hm to put my stuff
hmm baby met dat idiot!!
wateva
went out wif helmy
got myself a cap
matchin wif baby
its a lollipop wording
lyk cute la
haha
watch g i joe
den take pic den back hm..haha
tired
wana slp
luv baby
HATE FATHULLAH TO THE CORE!!

dun get me a tynk if im unrealistic

2009-08-08T23:17:00.000+08:00

today i werk for 6hrs
i suppose to start at 12 at suntec
but i was told to cover tpp
hmm
bdae reali cumin up
n its dreadful more den eva
baby asked me if i reali mean wat i wan
well i told him i wanted
DIOR BAG,LV WALLET,TIFFANY AND CO RING OR NECKLACE
well i can ask for wat i wan
but i didnt beg for d stuff
eu ask,i tell
but i didnt say
"eu muz get me a branded present or else i dump eu"
or "buy me brands to show me eur luv"
wateva eu can afford
juz get
its not dat i even ask eu for a present
he tynks im unrealistic
well if im unrealistic to eu
den nyd not buy me anytynk
as again
I DIDNT BEG FOR A BDAE PRESENT
n im betta of not celebratin
coz its juz anotha rotten bdae anyway
so wat do i care
i dun giv a damn
i juz wish
there is no such tynk as AUGUST 24TH
n i juz dun undrstnd
y eu kip hurtin me as if ive done such a big mistake
as if i was d gurlss who eva hurt eu b4
dat eu shud giv me d same ill treatment
ppl hav limits
ppl hav fylinz
if eur human enuf
den so i m
tynk usin eur brain not eur balls

hate me den leave me

2009-08-07T22:30:00.001+08:00

sumtymz i juz dun undrstnd..
y eu kip hurtin me..
isit bcoz otha gurlz hurt eu
n eu revenge dem on me?
i kip tryin hard,eu noe?
everytym wen i get hold of eu,
eu juz push me dwn..
if eu dun luv me y stick arnd wif me?
y muz eu hurt me now n den?
i duno if im eur num 1 priority
eu can do anytink for eur frenz
i tynk eu can evn die for eur frenz
but i dun tynk eu wud do such tynk for me
eu care nutin except for games,frens n eur fylinz
i cnt take diz anymore
sumtymz ppl juz giv up wen they get hurt too much for tryin
sumtymz dat ppl cud b me
CHOOSE..MAKE UP EUR MIND
coz if eur goin to put me the last one again
den eu might as well not put me anywhr near eu

hate me den leave me

2009-08-07T22:30:00.000+08:00

sumtymz i juz dun undrstnd..
y eu kip hurtin me..
isit bcoz otha gurlz hurt eu
n eu revenge dem on me?
i kip tryin hard,eu noe?
everytym wen i get hold of eu,
eu juz push me dwn..
if eu dun luv me y stick arnd wif me?
y muz eu hurt me now n den?
i duno if im eur num 1 priority
eu can do anytink for eur frenz
i tynk eu can evn die for eur frenz
but i dun tynk eu wud do such tynk for me
eu care nutin except for games,frens n eur fylinz
i cnt take diz anymore
sumtymz wen juz giv up wen they get hurt too much for tryin
sumtymz dat prsn cud b me
CHOOSE..MAKE UP EUR MIND
coz if eur goin to put me the last one again
den eu might as well not put me anywhr near eu

i hate today

2009-07-29T23:20:00.000+08:00

its been a rough tym for me..
everything seems to be pitched high
but suddenly come crashing down
fylin so not good
maybe im juz emotionally upset
my birthday is cumin up nxt mth
n ech day it seems so dreadful
i hate birthdays
its juz so not fun
birthdays were never fun to me
coz i either hav to share it wif sum1 else
or i hav to celebrate belated
or not at all
gettin older
n yeah it sux
feelin so left out
my wish dis year for my birthday
is to get wat i mostly wan
i dowan money,i dowan gifts
i dowan a cake,i dowan anything expensive
i juz wan 1 thing dat i realise
i lost it along my way
n i noe even how much i wish for it
or even pray for it
i will neva get in dis life of mine again
coz it is long gone
so i hav to continue my years
searchin for it
i luv my bdae last year
at least it was sumtynk
eventhough i was ony wif prabhu n helmy
i duno how dis year wud be
maybe anotha rotten bdae i usually get
im not hopin for it
im not lookin forward for my bdae
i juz hope
there is 23 den 25 skippin 24 on d list

I LOST EVERYTHING NOW

I REALISE IT

tym is runnin up
gettin distant
N further away
are eu cumin back
or are eu juz goin to move on
leavin me broken again
i cant stand d thought
i gave eu wat eu wanted
but lately im not gettin any in return
tears roll day by day
n do eu realise it?
do eu even noe wat caused it?
if eu wan it fair,so do i
d pain of missin is so great
yet i keep my silence
dis silence will no longer stay
coz it will break out in pieces n say

dun torture my miserable soul
coz it can no longer hold

stop dis tears from rollin
hold dis soul from fallin

plz cum back
dun leave me

my past events

2009-07-26T23:58:00.000+08:00

i have tryin very hard to update my blog...but seems dat sumtynk juz wasnt right here..well anyway..meow meow,greetings to everyone..been busy for days..haha..me n baby 6 mthz alrdy!!! made him my newest inventory..lempeng chicken..haha..he lyks it..so does my werk mates..he even let his bro's n mom taste..n guesh wat?? his mom even let his aunts taste..omg...malunye..but yeah,no bad comments..fail my prac 5...d road is juz too fast for me...i was goin 30/40km/h...hahamalu la...but overall its fun...i mish my baby..im juz fallin for him more each day...its juz lyk im in a spell dat he cast...i cnt seem to forget him nor hate him..goin for prac later at 8.10pm...shit shit!!!im afraid...i nyd to buck up my u turn..haha..k la...im freakin sleepy noe...i mish eu baby skinny...

:(

2009-07-15T23:31:00.002+08:00

meow meow

had a tough day today

i cnt write

i cnt wash

i cnt eat

i cnt cook

wif my injured finger

i fyl so bad

i cnt do anytink to help

i sat there waitin for ppl to pay

or sweep d floor

or clear d towels

i said sorry to d stylist

ken said it wud be roughly a week

juz to fully recover

i dun tynk i can go skool on friday

hmm

n it hurts

i cnt even squeeze my koko on my bread

n i didnt realise my bread was mouldy

i had a difficult day today

felt lyk cryin

im upset

stoopit finger

my bad day 2day

2009-07-14T21:26:00.003+08:00

meow meow

first of all

i wud lyk to wish my bestie

[above picture]

HAPIE 20TH BDAE

im so showie i cnt b there wif eu 2day

well

n IMPORTANT update 2day

i cut my bloody finger

so deep

blood flow lyk unclosed tap

my 3rd bro came ova

i was suppose to help him dye n cut his hair

afta dyin his hair

i decide to feed my 5 cats

as i was openin d canned cat food

i slipped my finger n cut myself

it was so big it cut my vein

sad help me to stop d blood

but afta a few attempts d bleedin still dun stop

he rush me to d nearest dctr

by d time i reach there

my blood stop coz dry blood cover d wound

but as soon as d dctr clean my finger

blood came trickling down

i was almost cryin in pain

d dctr gave me 3 medicines

cost me 50 bucks

sad paid for me

i fyl so guilty

coz he is d sole bread winner

n im afraid he got no money

i will pay him back once i get my pay

i reali fyl guilty

he told me to inform him if it doesnt cure

n now it still bleedin

im so afraid

i dowan stiches

coz i noe it will cost more..

hmm

i hope my finger heal faster..

depressed

2009-07-13T22:45:00.002+08:00

meow meow

greetins evryone

been depressed lately

sittin alone

kipin all to myself

quite n readin most of my tym

i fyl so low

afta all dat hpnd

i makes me realise

im losin d only thing im hangin on

im goin crazy

if im not forgiven

i will kip spiralin dwn

plz 4give me

i reali m goin crazy

eu noe i m

pls

im showie

dxo n satay

2009-07-12T22:41:00.003+08:00

meow meow

greetings to everyone

ystrdy i was damn hell losin my load

haha

afta werk me,ice n shasha wen out

we ate at satay club wif

dhiah n her two gay fwenz

while walkin i bump into prabhu

i miz him so much

haha

continue walkin

bump into el

haha

he dun recognize me

coz i waz wearin wig

but lani did

hmm

NOT FAIR

afta eatin,me,shasha n ice wen to dxo

actualy juz wana drink

bought a jug of cranberry vodka

actually its ony for me dat whole jug

haha

yummy

i got so high but not drunk

as if high on drugs

flyin away

song wasnt bad ystrdy

lani was there to check on me

haha

wen he gt nutin to do,he juz cum up at my table

purposely sat near his view

afraid anotha guy cum tryna touch me

haha

1/2 my load off my chest

mayb i was a bit tipsy ystrdy

slept n dreamt of baby

he was wif sumotha gurl

i wen crazy wen i woke up

kip accusin baby of lyin

well i duno if he did

but if he dun den im juz pushin my dream too far

im sho showie to make him suffer

im showie baby for all dat hpnd

11 more days to our 6 mth annie

i luv eu..

hard day at werk

2009-07-10T22:56:00.002+08:00

meow meow

greetings to everyone

had a hard day at skool 2day

freakin bz

cut my palm

haha

i was lyk runnin all over

cuttin n cuttin

colourin n colourin

permin n permin

there is dis cstmr

wow i fuckin hate

her mom in law kip buggin me

tynk im malay

n dun undrstnd chinese

she was so shocked to hear me speak chinese

wen she was talkin abt my piercins

afta 1001 tym buggin me

n ran out of my classroom

n scream at my teacher

"i dowana do dat fuckin cstmr anymore"

"get sumone else!!"

i ran to 1st floor

complain to linda b4 she complain

haha

so everyone downstairs got d whole story

anyway

i made a vow

frm 2day

i no longer wanna eat rice anymore

for at least 1 mth

n im tryin my best to stick to it

im gettin so fuckin fat

well actually i kinda lose weight

haha

i nyd to lose to

42 kg d most

45 d least

if n made it

im gona reward myself wif

STARBUCKS FRAPPUCINO

haha

cool ryt my reward

wat i wud do now is eat soup

or whole grain bread

everyday

noodles as in bee hoon is acceptable

i wanna hate rice

i dowana eat rice

i nyd to lose weight

im afraid if i gain too much

baby wud leave me for bein fat

ppl will look dwn at me

i ate my last half a bowl of rice juz now

farewell to rice

i mish baby so much

hvnt seen him since sat

i hope tynks r gettin fine now

i dowana lose him

coz i juz cant

afta all d arguements

i still do luv him

neva less

i noe eu dig dis baby

if eur readin

i juz wana say im showie

i may not b a gud gf for eu

im unreasonable

irritatin

but i luv eu

n its eu who i tynk of

evry minit evry sec

{otha den werk}

we might not get to myt ech otha so often

lyk how we used to wen we were juz 1 or 2 mthz

i undrsnd

ony d pain of waitin is unbearable at tymz

so i hope eu undrstnd

y i react a certain way at tymz

n i reali hope n pray evryday

dat eu will neva get sick of me

or lay eyes on otha girls

i dowan eur fylinz to change towards me

im showie for evrytink

i luv eu

n ony eu

perfect is so hard

2009-07-09T23:01:00.004+08:00

meow meow

greetings everyone

2day nutin much to update

n yeah again

fylin very down

how i wish everything cud juz fall perfectly

pass few days hvnt gt enuff slp

i tynk im insomnia

either i cnt slp

or i juz wake up in d middle of d nyt n cnt fall to slp

i will juz stay in bed

tossin n turnin

tynkin n cryin

i cnt seem to tynk straight

everything is fallin apart

n he seems not to care

im losin everything

i gt nutin in lyf

we r not lyk how we used to

im goin crayzee

dat fylin i had 3 yrs ago

is bck again

its painful

worst den d last tym

its hurtin me

but i cnt seem to cure it

d cure is no longer there

d cure is gone

leavin me sick n tired alone

wat a day

2009-07-08T22:41:00.002+08:00

meow meow

greetings to everyone

went out wif bestie helmy 2day

we head to ssdc to do my pdl

haha

at last

while at ssdc met bestie sarah {i mish eu bestie}

haha

so qiut she wen to d waitin area afta talkin to me

n came back askin me

"ella,i duno how to use d locker"

hehe

qiut ryt

den wen to twn

gt a pair of shoe

den ate at ljs cine

walk all d way to bugis

gt me a wig n doraemon coin pouch

walk arnd den off to esplanade to take buz hm

haha

im so tired now

goin to slp alrdy..

adhd

2009-07-04T00:01:00.002+08:00

meow meow

geetings to everyone

showie hvnt update my blog for quite sumtym

n d otha day i juz cnt cum in to dis site

hmm

i read sum magazines 2day

n came across dis page talkin abt

ADHD

Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder

i might hav dis condition

i got d symptomz

i duno if i m havin diz

nyd to check wif d doctorz

i asked baby

"will eu still stand by me"

im so afraid

wat if it cnt b cured

omg

im goin crayzee..

my off day

2009-06-24T21:06:00.002+08:00

meow meow

greetins everyone

juz gt back frm town

off day 2day

now back on my bed

eatin yam & coconut ice cream

yummy

2day again i had my prac 5

n again i fail

haha

2 immediate failure

went up d curb durin crank course

n fall of d plank

haha

overall 20 demerit

improvement

haha

afta my prac i went home n rest

at arnd 2 i wanted to get prepared

n guesh wat

afta pickin out my clothes

my nephew told me

d iron cnt b used

HOW D HELL M I GOIN TO IRON MY CLOTHES

my itchy hand wanted to try

so i plug on

n BoOm!!!

everything electrical in my house goes off

panic in d house

haha

hav to switch on my main circuit

luckily i got my extra rebondin clip at hm

so i iron my clothes wif my rebondin clip

haha

rush dwn to take d train

at jurong east mrt

i was shocked to c saiful

haha

longest tym in history dat i neva c him

mish him uh

talk wif him all d way to woodlands

met up baby skinny

hehe

he was wearin d top i bought

he luk so cute

we took buz to bugis

baby pat me to slp

hehe

i felt so luved

he owys pamper me lyk a small kid

he noe i lyk to b pampered

he offered me sweet

n i forgot to return him d rest

me n baby went to eat n cuppage

yummy

gt myself super spicy nasi goreng

den baby n me went to orchard central

fuckin big

nearly gt lost

haha

kimarie down there is so cool

haha

den from kimarie can c dis rock climbing wall

cool shit siak

den frm there me n baby went to hokaido fair

which is at isetan scotts road

on the way there i saw afiq bulu

haha

chat awhile

went crayzee at hokaido fair

so many yummy things

reasonable prices

i got myself gummy n chocolate

afta dat went back hm

im mishin baby now

waitin for his kol

he neva fail to treat me lyk a baby

luvin him lots

okla

signin off

5mth

2009-06-23T23:41:00.002+08:00

meow meow

greetings everyone

2day is my 5 mthz annie

n im celebratin 2moro

haha

i mish baby sho much

i was touched wen he texted me at nyt

it made me cry

haha

duno y

but i was so touched at wat he hav said

haha

nutin much to talk 2day...signin off

random

2009-06-22T23:24:00.002+08:00

meow meow

greetings everyone

today is a random day

BORIN!!!

nutin much happen..

same old routine

now back at hm

in d room

hmm

everyone at hm seems to b ignorin

yeah yeah

wateva

if abg wanna ignor me abt d otha day

by all means

i juz nyd to pack my bag

n out i go

well,ive planed it a long tym ago

but yeah

last tym i was afraid of dis n dat

afraid of hurtin abg's fylin

afraid of bein nag by abg

now i juz cnt b bothered

d reason is simple

im 19 years old dis year

n even though i havent gone through life dat much

i can still tynk for myself

im not 19 months old

kinda lonely

everyone is so cold

i might as well juz vanish frm dis world

i dun hav to suffer ill treatment by anyone anymore

at least if i die

i wun b troublin anyone

juz let my body rotten

hmm

my life is neva endin sufferin

n ppl dun care

coz im nutin to dem

so well

life shud b taken away frm me

im so very stress

but i try hard not to show it

i dowan my baby to tynk othawise

i realise sumtynk

we gt dis common tynk

we both lyk to tink crap abt each otha

n get irritated at ech otha

haha

its my 5 mthz in afew more minits

i wanted to myt baby 2moro

but hmm

he kip sayin dat we r mytin on wed anyway

hmm

baby whr r eu

kollin for my skinny baby

im missin eu

eur not arnd

i cnt find eu

help help

im juz so alone

i gt no one

wateva!!!

fuck wif lyf!!!

slpy sunday

2009-06-21T23:59:00.008+08:00

meow meow

greetings to everyone

i juz gt hm

was werkin juz now

sunday

a borin day

met baby n besties

yukiyiid

wen arnd to esp rooftop to hang arnd

baby made me cry juz now

coz he texted me sayin he is not fetchin

i juz wanted to scold all d vulgarities i hav in mind

he showed up n i was in tears

haha

paisey

yesterday went out wif

ice,robin,tank,john & diah

we ate satay at makan suntra after werk

i came by dxo to c baby's bro

Lani

d satay is so juicy n spicy

best siak

afta meal we went to marina

play pool

haha

we booked 2 table

i lost to ice

n i lost to diah by luck

my stoopit ball hit d black ball

n in it go

haha

bodo la

tank played very well

reali had fun

me n diah went off at 1140

n missed our last train

lucky for me i still gt last bus

haha

diah ony gt buz to jurong but still nyd to walk hm

wat a pity

i duno how she gt hm

reali had a fun tym

i mish baby sho much

actually wen he go off

i was kinda upset

n oso bcoz wen i saw his necklace

he didnt wear d one i bought

hmm

guesh he dun lyk it at all

mayb was juz pretendin dat he lyk those stuff i gave

dats y he put it back in d jar d otha day

im so stoopit to not noe wat he lyk

hmm

yawns

slpy signin off

get d story straight

2009-06-21T01:42:00.004+08:00

meow meow

greetings everyone

well yeah ppl

if eu very damn well c my tag board

currently havin sum conflict

tanx bestie for backin me up

well

im gettin d story well straight

so CERTAIN ppl will get d story straight

dat i aint bringin dwn dis human named

ZHIELA

well yeah

here goes mayb sumtynk

i was rushin to werk on friday morning

coz i nyd to take my scissors at tpp

n den go to skool

so instead of takin d train

i took d cab

while i was on the way to tpp

ZHIELA texted me

sayin she will send over my scissors bag to skool

as she nyds to c my boss too

so well yeah i asked

"r eu goin tpp 1st or tc"

she said she will go tpp 1st

so i said

"i myt eu at tpp instead la"

she said yes

n unfold d truth

dat she took my scissors

by textin

"babkan,i borrowed ur scissors..hehee.sorry tk blg"

so dat {Hehee} in d text alrdy start d flame

coz well as again my scissors r expensive

so i replied

"hugh!!gunting mane!!ade jato tk!!"

"apsl tk kol i blng!!i cume pakai satu gunting tau!"

"lagi satu tk bley pakai!!"

so afta dat fire started big

wen i found out its d new pair

afta lots of text

she suddenly shut herself

so i was so frustrated

i text shasha

so dat she cud help me pass d msg

by hopin dat she reply shasha instead

shasha kip textin her

n passin msg to me

n b4 dat i did kol up ice n told her

coz afta all she is a stylist

she noe y exactly i react diz way

arnd past aftrn

i was on d phone wif shasha

was askin me wat actually hpn

so yeah i told her

since she alrdy noe

den she told me

"ZHIELA pon prnh amek samantha pny gunting.."

"dat tym samantha on holiday"

i was so fuckin shocked

of coz i will believe her

as she alrdy werked wif ZHIELA

i was shocked

wen i asked her

"y eu neva stop her or tell samantha?"

she said

"ZHIELA told me not to tell so as a fren i kept quiet"

n yeah

she told ice[yiting] abt it too

but wif alittle bit more info sayin

"ZHIELA wen c me hold d stylist scissors she will scold me"

dat was told to me by ice d next day

so i was shocked

shasha also said

"she took hm samantha's thinning scissors"

n sum stuff she said i cnt recall

so well

afta all

i ony said abt ZHIELA

lengthenin her hand to my brand new scissors

evryone told me to juz wait for d scissors

but in d same time wonderin

y ZHIELA didnt ask my permission

its juz a phone kol away

but d rest wasnt me

it was shasha who make her look dwn

so well yeah

i hav ice to back up for me

yeah i did tell ppl who by luck kol me

on my angry day

for eg:

ice,shasha,nana,my bf,samantha,xiabin,xiaohui,emily laushe

no one else beyond dat

n guesh wat

most of d stylist dat ive told

asked me to stay calm

n wait for my scissors

n wen i gt my scissors back

asked me to check if anytink spoil

n will help me check too

ice did help me check

n i gt 2 hard marks

i rmbr buyin d scisoors wifout hard marks

n i hvnt use it at all

coz dat mummy{elaine} told me not to

i wasnt reali angry abt d 2 hard marks

coz mayb ZHIELA cut whoeva's hair

which is hard enuff to make those marks

its still not bad condition

so yeah

*to ZHIELA*

*get d story ryt*

*dis is my blog*

*by all means i hav d ryt to say wat i wanna*

*it wasnt me who bring dwn eur name*

*n it was d truth*

*n i duno wat shasha told eu*

*mayb she make d spark bigger*

*well i duno abt dat*

*i may b a bitch at tymz*

*but i gt d heart to not make eu luk horrible*

*at sumone elses eyes*

*i dun talk rumors*

*n wateva i texted eu*

*i did tell ice*

*so she noe d real story*

*n i gt d proof dat i hvnt even delete*

*d msg btwn us*

*so if eu tynk im makin a whole rumors abt eu*

*takin samantha's scissors*

*well eur wrg*

*get d story ryt n noe who is wrng*

*i treat ppl equally to how they treat me*

misin eu

2009-06-19T22:05:00.010+08:00

meow meow

greetings to everyone

not in a gud mood today

fyl loike beatin ppl up

especially dis asshole bitch

ZHIELA

fuckin took my scissors wifout my permission

she thinks i pluck leaves to buy my scissors

she thinks that my scissors is d same used

for cuttin paper

givin me reason got back pain

MATI TNK

HIDOP SUSAKN ORG PLAK!!

i m so reali gonna bash her up

she juz nyds one

frm sumone

who can wake her up

n dat sumone wud b me

im goin to make her suffer

so badly

dat she fyls so terrible

misserable

horrible

i noe i m so revengeful

i will treat ppl d way they treat me

so if i fyl she is makin my lyf hard now

den she will get in return

ZHIELA @ FUCKIN BITCH

hope she dies a painful death

suffer till her last moment

n as wat i noe

she even took samantha's scissors wifout permission too

well if she took my scissors dat cost $100

i dun reali will get dis mad

but d thing is

she took my $200 scissors which i hvnt use

n not 1

but 2

bitch asshole!!!

i ll get my hands on her soon

ENUFF TALKIN ABT DAT BITCH

mishin baby lyk hell

hmm

he didnt say he luv me dis mrng wen he wake me up

neither did he giv me a kiss

through the phone

i was so devastated

juz now i talk to him

he dsnt sound hapie

mayb slpy

n wen he put dwn d phone

again d 2 things i expect is not there

he promise me

1 day 2 kisses

2 love

i hvnt receive any

n im upset

where is my lazy boy

i juz cnt find him anywhere

where r eu

i miss eu

i nyd eu

tired thursday

2009-06-18T23:05:00.004+08:00

meow meow

greetings to everyone

today is a fuckin borin thursday

WHY

1st thing came bck to werk

ice kip naggin abt my 2 otha asstnt

haiyo

deaf uh my ears

den not many cstmr

hmm

business is goin dwn badly

den dis stoopit yonglong

he go accept 1 cstmr doin perm

at 8.30

woii i no nyd go hm meh

lucky he let me do settlement 1st

haha

baby n me not in gud terms

hmm

everyone i luv is pushin me aside

im so lonely

no one to talk to

not evn my bf

didnt myt up since sunday

i mish him so much

but yet upset

hmm

i got a nightmare ystrdy

i dream sumtynk bad

abt me,baby n HIS EX

yes

his ex

i woke up cryin lyk hell at 4 in d morning

kip cryin n huggin his jacket

so afraid of losin him

i detailed my nightmare at eu noe where

n yeah

i kept cryin till i fell aslp

woke up dis morning fylin so heavy hearted

i mish him sho much

goin crayzee

i wonder how he is

neva hear his voice

mish his voice

mish evrytink abt him

i hope he get well soon

he is sick

yeah wat else

his asthma

mish disturbin him abt his asthma

if he is werkin dis weekend

den i hav to wait

till duno wen

den i can myt him

btw

5 mthz anni is next week

5 more days to go

5 mthz uh??

yippy!!!!

i luv eu sho much baby

gotta go

signin off

rtt pass upset

2009-06-17T22:29:00.003+08:00

meow meow

greetings to evryone

well i did my prac 5 ystrdy

n out of 20+ ppl

ony 3 pass

hmm

i failed

FUCK

today i did my rtt

n i pass

d lady in charge made me lyk a dog

she didnt search my name properly

n said i wasnt in d list

so frm 3rd floor i hav to go to the counter

at 1st floor

n end up my name was in

so i hav to go up again to 3rd floor

CHIBAI RYT

SIAL PNY NYONYA SUNDAL

but i pass

so its ok

wen to my beloved sis in law/bestie hse

waited for my beloved bro "sad"

fool arnd wif my nieces n nephews

my newest addition

NURUL BALQIS ATHIRAH

sho cute

sad gt hm n ordered pizza

yeay!!!

dat sial bro of mine was there in d eve

hmm

he punch mirza on d back n slap n drag dat kid

juz bcoz he kept goin next door takin sweets

FUCK RYT

wen he punch mirza

i got d chance to grab my nephew n drag to me

but i wasnt strong enuf

dat bastard drag him away frm me

n slap him

pity dat boy

wat do eu expect

he is juz ony 3yrs

afta dat i went hm

hmm

im very upset wif my bf

he thinks im wat?

so wat if he is sick

doesnt me he is sick i muz treat him lyk king

i was so angry wen he scolded me ystrdy

im lyk more to upset

coz i always do dat

n he often nudge me back alot of tymz too

but ystrdy was diff

he is owys scoldin me

wen i irritate him abit

or even wen he is angry wif sum1 else

but im his gf

not his pet dog

at least juz giv me a thought

abt my fylinz

i gt fylinz too lyk my 5 cats at hm

sumtymz i fyl he is so selfish

coz wen he gets upset wif me

he expect me to noe

but wat abt me

i too wan him to noe

dat my sudden change means sumtynk wrg

its close to 5 mths

he said i still dun undrstnd him

well he dun undrstnd me too

so dun juz blame me ony

well i hav to go

signin off

saturday nyt fever!!!

2009-06-16T22:05:00.003+08:00

meow meow

greetings to everyone

if there is any who is readin

haha

well yeah

dis is my recent update

went to dxo on sat

kco-rable

i finish werk at 6 dat day

i was asked to cover for honglim

all d assistant MIA

so afta werk i went home

did alittle touch up of my makeup

afta dat rush dwn to suntec

to myt up wif shasha n ice

they ot till 10 30

hmm

i ate my mcdonalds while waitin

as usual

mcspicy burger

was so irritated wif d shasha

kip rushin us off

lyk as if d club goin to run away

or suntec gonna shut us in

stoopit

wen we get there

i searched for my bf cuzin

shamil

at 11 we were in d que

waitin to be in

wen we get in

juz nice

they were playin my fav club song

JUST DANCE by LADY GAGA

me n shasha rush to d dance floor

i drank quite alot

coz i was tipsy

ice bought finger food as she fyls lyk nibblin

n also a jug of ribena vodka

i drank d most of it

n dance alot

n drink n dance

dats all i do

haha

n guesh wat

my belly piercin tear off

ouch

while we were on d dance floor

dj was playin d song

BOOM BOOM POW

there is dis phillipine guy

he was tryin to dance wif me n shasha

n back off wen he came touchin my butt

n i told shasha to dance wif him

how stoopit of her

he dirty danced wif her

he was touchin all over her

her pussy

her breast

haha

we got so afraid dat we try to dance away

he catch up wif us

bringin along a guy fwen of his

omg

i ran all d way to ice

haha

i got more to drink

n was alrdy tipsy

too much to drink

i told baby abt d incident

he was furious

wat to do

he ask me to go hm

actually

he demanded me to go hm

i understand dat he was angry

but at least its ok

coz i enjoy lyk hell dat saturday

he duno i was goin crayzee

i felt free

even if its d last tym

i appreciate baby lettin me off

THANK EU BABY FOR TRUSTIN ME

i got hm n slpt wif wat i wore

end of update for now

signin off

ice shasha kiiroineko

my outin

2009-06-10T00:11:00.003+08:00

meow meow

greetings to everyone

dat picture above

was taken yesterday

baby n me went out

we met at chinatown arnd 3

went to my outlet at hong lim

took green hair dye dat i bought for him

afta dat we went to far east

was eating at d 5th floor

i got myself hotplate crab meat noodle

n its yucks

baby got fried chicken rice

n we bought side order of fried wanton

afta eatin

we went arnd

i wanted to buy shoe initially

but baby was mumbling

sayin i got so many shoe at home

hmm

he n abg d same

i juz nyd anotha black heel

coz eventually

mine black one spoil

was kinda upset abt it

den we went to bugis

to myt baby fad,yukiyiid n her young bro

ayiid was havin some prob wif yuki's sista's bf

afta dat we went to bugis street

go buy stuff

baby fad had to go early

hmm so sad

baby acmpny me to check out wigs

there is dis wig

wif short straight bangs

n lots of medium curls

i luk loike 1 fuckin bitch

haha

den we check out anotha shop

dis tym was big curls wif side bangs

i luk so lyk kakak2

haha

den i got myself a perfume

paris hilton can can

and

dior jadore lotion

and a shinny thights

hang around at the new shopping centre

den yukiyiid went home

send her bro

n pick clothes to cum ova my house

afta dat me n baby went to ljs

we share a meal of giant nugget

hehe

den we talk while he smoke

i reali had a great tym ystrdy

hmm

im stress now

im breakin down wif hives

and its on my face

fuck ryt

im goin for cr later

afta dat im goin out wif bestie helmy

den afta dat im fetchin ayiid

she cumin ova again

haha

ok la

nyd to bath

im gettin disgusted wif dis hives

signin off

my irritatin bro

2009-06-09T03:18:00.009+08:00

meow meow

well yeah

hello ppl

hmm

im tellin eu

red is neva a gud sign

yes yes

im ANGRY

??WHY??

coz of my irritatin bro

i was on d phone

wif none otha

den my koko pendeq

BRO: sape tu

ME: koko la

BRO: {start naggin}

.....ask him to cum....

....ask permission to brin eu out...

...y he can brin eu to c his family...

...y he cnt cum c us...

...ask him to b a man..

...not a coward gay...

...dun make me do wat i did to kambing...

...yada yada yada...

...bla bla bla..

kambing is my ex

name is azzim

dat was lyk d ony guy

i brin ova

to c him

i mean reali

my family is corrupted enuf

got trojan

n neither wud i wish to brin my bf home

??WHY??

simple n easy

i dowan to be embarrassed

my bro lyk to luk dwn on ppl

or easy say

criticise

wen d 1st tym he met my bf

he said my bf budak jaggong

ABEY KAU NAK AKU CARIK JANTAN MCMANE

YANG CASE KAU SUKE

YANG KAU PILIH KAN AKU??

serious

im reali fucked up

im sure its my sis inlaw who tell him

abt me goin out wif his family

n yeah

so wat

if i go out wif his family

its me who dun wan to brin him hm

i juz dowan my idiotic bro

to look dwn at him

well yeah

my bf might b a pain in my ass at tym

but im hapie wif him

n so wat

who cares

if god say im marryin him

so i do

im d one who decides my life

its my journey

no one can or shud stop me

im gettin frustrated wif life

i juz cnt stand a minit stayin in dis rut

2 more years

a long way for me

n i will b out

wif or wifout their permission

helmy!!!!

2 more yrs ryt??

we will get a house

wif 1 lappy

1 pc

1 big screen tv

dat can oso serve net

playstation

xbox 360

2 more years

im waitin

ive made up my decission

its my ultimate legalness

no one can stop me

FROM BEIN FREE

let my misery end

let my happiness begin

i dun hate my family

its d way they r dat makes me hate

sumtymz

i reali do fyl humiliated

by d way they r

or upset by wat they say

but i juz kip quiet

coz i noe

i juz hav to face dem a few hours everyday

i spend most of my tym workin my ass

so i got money

n i dun hav to depend on dem

im big enuf now

im savin lots

for my future

n my bike

they totally got no idea

how badly i wud wan to live

INDEPNDENTLY

n i wudnt wan to fuss my nephew

i pity dem too

d way their life is

but they r juz my nephew n niece

all 10 of dem

i got no control over dem

im juz their aunt

n i wudnt care much either

coz if i hav 1 of my own

i wud let my child learn to make decision

b independent

im reali overly frustrated

but i juz dowana vent out

i dowana b d old me

let it eat up inside

as long as i still hav work

den i got nutin much to think

let me get my ass tired

well

i tynk i vent enuff here

got to go

signin off

identity crisis

2009-06-06T22:38:00.004+08:00

meow meow

greetings to all

i noe

probably eu ppl r wonderin

who d hell is dis gurl

well

dats not me

dis is my werkmate

who i highly suspect she got

IDENTITY CRISIS

yes reali

she is threatening

MY LIFE

HELP HELP

TOLONG!!

she is followin my every bits

frm d way i talk

to d way i behave

OMG

she do wateva i do

i write initials of days on my punch card

she oso follow

i write a note to myself

about monster inc

n stick to my counter table

she oso follow

i lyk to use d word BENCI

now she uses it too

she ask ppl wat brand i use

she even tell her best gay fren

'ella is owys in d lime light'

well

i dun nyd a lime light to be in a lime light

i juz hav to b me

n dats wat ppl lyk

i m me

she was browsin her cuzin hp dat day

n said

"kau ade gmbr ella?"

wow lucky for me

her phone chipalang

haha

so cnt take my pic

im so afraid

she pass arnd my pic

n say its her

OMG

scary

she is such a biatch

she stinks lyk hell

especially her feet

BLUEK

her feet stinks even 3 metres away

EEEUUUWWW

her body too

no wonder

she bathes wif perfume

to cover her odour

her mouth too

my besties,yukiyiid said

'NAMPAK BESI AJE'

she even pee in her bed

frm wat i noe

disgusting or wat

minah rollin

dat type os ppl wan

yeah yeah

COVER D FACE

FUCK D BASE

haha

den i oso heard

she owys got vaginal infection

YUCKS

i fyl so lifeless

my identity is almost stolen

one thing for sure

she can copy me

but she

CANNOT

COPY MY LIFESTYLE

coz itz juz too

EXPENSIVE

for her

haha

signin off

my off day

2009-06-04T00:03:00.002+08:00

meow meow
greetings to everyone
my off day was a bz day
at 320 was my circuit revision
shit
was damn tired
my crank course
and figure 8
not improving
but my slalom
i gettin better
afta my cr
baby fetch me
we went to my workplace
coz dat diah was so fucked up lazy
not to mention
blur sotong
haha
afta dat
me n baby met up wif
his mummy
lani
didi
his uncle ,auntie n yusri
his auntie n daughter
we went around at bugis
his mummy tot i was a doll
standin next to lani
haha
den she intro me to her big sis
i was shocked
wen she kol herself "mama"
wen talkin to me
ong
hehe
afta walkin arnd
we went bck hm
so tired
so ppl
i gt to go
tired as hell..

baby i mish eu!!

2009-05-31T13:41:00.003+08:00

meow meow

greetings everyone

i tynk im goin crayzee

d reason

its been 1wk 1 day

not mytin my baby

he is bz wif werk n skool

no tym to myt me

im so so so sad

terribly upset

n im goin crayzee too

i cant wait to myt him 2moro

he is cumin to suntec

for rebonding

his curls all out

yuckz

haha

i mish him sho damn much

anyway he is havin skool holidays

shud b able to myt more

hehe

k la ppls

gt to go...

my puss is bck

2009-05-27T19:51:00.002+08:00

meow meow

greetings everyone

woke up early today

did my laundry

hmm

super lot to wash

afta dat

i was gettin ready to go to ssdc

i got circuit revision

b4 goin out i text baby

he said he might not myt me

coz his ezlink not enuf

i was so devastated

i cry n cry

i tot i cud myt him

n make up abt ystrdy

but

end up we cnt myt

i reali cry d hell out

i mish him sho much

its been 4 days

n wkend i cnt myt him

coz he is werkin

i hav to wait till next week

it will b a week to wait

im so so upset

wif heavy heart

i went out to ssdc

otw to d bustop

i saw dis familiar lookin cat

she look at me

as if she noe me

so i kol out

"puss,is dat eu?"

she replied wif a swyt

"meow"

i hold on to her

i kept askin

"y did eu run away?"

i quickly gav a kol hm

my sis in law came down wif d cage

i put my pussy cat in

i mish her sho much

i reach ssdc late

d instructor today was nice enuf

he teach me alot

he said

my plank and 'e' brake

is gud enuf

my slalom

muz try to not wobble

my crank is ok

my figure 8

muz speed up

i became his pillion

n he teach me diff technique

i got hm

cry again n again

i hug pussycat

i mish her sho much

n i oso mish my baby

ive got to go

signin off..